Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Super Globetrotters
Is it the Shoes?
Hanna Barbera: 1979
Look, Up in the sky
It's so lame
It's...... Stupor Zero Month!
The Harlem Globetrotters. By the late 70's they were ablaze in popularity. From merchandise, to even being regular television stars, from teaming with Scooby Doo, to meeting Gilligan and the Gang. They were at the highest peak of celebrity.
So it was obvious that they would get their own cartoon. Now while the original Harlem Globetrotters toon was pretty stupid in design (they get challenged by the main bad guy to a basketball game, the villain tries to cheat, but the Globetrotters win in the end. Lather, rinse repeat), it wasn't that bad. Super Globetrotters however, was worse. Already running low in the idea barrel for the original series, they decided to turn the Globetrotters into superheroes. Each with a unique super power. Now, it was the same damn plot device only with super powers, but at this point the charm of the original idea had run it's course.
So was the Super Globetrotters really a super mess? Let's review this thing.
The opening isn't bad. with the knockoff of "Sweet Georgia Brown" in the background, we see the Globetrotters dribble a Basketball, and do some tricks, when they're informed by a satellite shaped like a basketball (known as the "Crime Globe") that evil is afoot, i guess, and they change into their super powered forms. Instead of fighting evil, they play more basketball. Then finally the villains arrive, and Twiggy Sanders puts a stop to them by...
Putting them on top of a building? Uh, i guess that showed them.
So, what are the particular super powers?
Well, Twiggy Sanders becomes Spaghetti Man, and turns into rope
Curly Neal is Super Sphere, and can become a giant basketball
Sweet Lou Dunbar becomes Gizmo, who can pull anything out of his giant fro
Geese Ausbie becomes Multi Man, who can clone himself, and has a shield.
And Nate Branch becomes Liquid Man, who can turn into liquid. He is also called Fluid Man, and even Aquaman, but you can call him "Handsome Guy:. He's also voiced by the legendary Scatman Crothers.
We start "The Super Globetrotters Vs. The Time Lord" at the local time research center, where the first ever Time Machine is being unveiled. The Globetrotters are there of course, and as always throwing a basketball around. A reporter talks to the Time Isolation Machine, affectionately called T.I.M who hopes that he can cure diseases, stop war, and of course see the Globetrotters play. Boy, and i thought the New Kids cartoon was an ego trip. And since it's a time machine, I'm pretty sure it knows what the outcome of the Globetrotter game is already going to be.
But unbeknownst to our Boom Shackalackers, they're being spied on by the evil Time Lord. He feels that only he should control time as he has a time device of his own. Only his can stop and speed up time. So, he decides he should steal T.I.M before anyone else uses it, and will assembles the greatest crooks of all time with his Time crystal. Greatest crooks of all time eh? I'm guessing maybe Bonnie and Clyde, John Dillinger, Or Ma Barker and her gang?
Oh, the Lioness, Tumbler, the Eagle, and Wheels. that was my second guess.
However, the globetrotters learn of this ASAP through the Crime Globe, and they fly back to the time center where the villainous crew is already inside. However, when they get stuck not knowing which way leads to the Time Machine, Gizmo pulls out a compass from his afro. However, as they sneak around still looking for the Time Lord's crew, Curly Neal get's captured. They're attempt to save him leads to them getting frozen by the time lord. He takes them back to his mansion, and puts them in a time barrier. When he tries to have Tim sends them back a million years, He refuses. Then, like all stupid villains, leaves the heroes for a minute. that's when the Crime Globe shows up to tell them that apparently Liquid Man can escape through the time barrier.
Now how in the hell did he know that? In fact the Crime Globe even knew how to shatter the barrier. Maybe the damn ball should be facing off with the Time Lord. certainly knows what the hell to do better than the Super Globetrotters.
So Liquid Man escapes, and frees the Globetrotters as they try to sneak away with T.I.M. But they're efforts are all for naught as the Time Lord captures T.I.M again. The Globetrotters decide that they should lure the baddies into the time warp with some fake money that Gizmo pulls out of his afro. And after Multi Man gives them invitations to come in, the villains are captured. All but Time Lord, who issues them a challenge. And of course instead of challenging them at something like hockey, or baseball, of course he challenges them to a basketball game. The Globetrotters accept, as long as it's at the sports arena with the proceeds going to charity of course.
And Time lord starts his cheatery by slowing the Globetrotters, and speeding up his allies, dominating the first half 28-0. As the Globetrotters are ready to give up, the Crime Globe tells them that they should use Multi Man's shield to block the shots from the time crystal. So Time lord gets blocked by Multi Man, and the Globetrotters win. The Time Lord and his crew are busted, and the Globetrotters take T.I.M back to the time institute.
And that's Super Globetrotters. A wise man one said that Basketballs don't hold grudges. But i do. This show stunk. a lame plot, The Globetrotters are far from interesting in this show, and the villains may be the dumbest villains I've seen to date. Why challenge them at something they're good at?
And with that we finish off week 2 of Stupor Zero Month. Tune in next week as we Deal with the commanding crap performance known as Robocop: Alpha Commando.